


and when our worlds collide (the stars shine so bright)

by devschreibt



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Don't Know How To Tag This, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gonna add some more as I go, Juliantina, Slow Burn, fashion designer/model au, strangers to friends to lovers to strangers again to...oh well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-10-21 20:29:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17649362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devschreibt/pseuds/devschreibt
Summary: They always say that when you least expect it, you'd find the one thing you're always meant to find.A chance encounter brings Juliana and Valentina together so effortlessly, it can only be described as serendipitous.To Juliana, Valentina is like summer sky, bright and iridescent, thawing her once cold heart.To Valentina, Juliana is like a lighthouse that guides her back home every time she's lost.But meant to bes are not always so easy, are they?Cause even though you're meant to find something, it doesn't always mean you get to keep it.





	1. it all comes down to this

“Babe…”’

“Hmm…”

“Is everything okay?”

At the question Juliana broke out of her reverie, turning her attention back to her fiancée. She noticed the genuine concern in those vibrant eyes, the eyes that kept her grounded. Eyes that reminded her of her past; an entirely different life she had been trying to forget. Juliana shook her head internally, offering a small smile at the brunette.

“Yes, everything’s okay.” She said lowly, intertwining their fingers together.

“Are you sure? You look so…distant.” The girl said tentatively, putting her other hand on top of their joined hands.

Juliana’s gaze dropped for a second, reveling in the warmth that she had been privileged enough to have these past 1.5 years. She felt incredibly lucky and she wanted to give everything that she could give for this amazing girl she got to call hers.

“Yes, I’m sure. You know me, I’m just still not used to all these social functions.” She admitted quietly, stroking the girl’s skin with her thumb. “I like being behind the scene.”

“Do you want to just go back to our apartment?”

Juliana locked her eyes with those eyes she could easily drown in, a bit taken aback at how easy the offer came out of the girl’s mouth. It told her everything she need to know, everything she had always known about her fiancée.  Still, she found it hard to believe that someone would put her first.

“No, no. Of course not. It’s your big night, love.”

“I mean, I’ve already got the title so tonight…”

“Tonight is to celebrate that and I can’t tell you enough how proud I am of you.” Juliana assured, her smile getting wider, lighter. “And if I have to deal with some paparazzi and awkward conversations to show my support then so be it.”

“It’s not awkward conversations, it’s people complimenting your work and you not knowing how to take it.”

“Exactly. My definition of awkward.” Juliana nodded her head, feigning a serious look, prompting the brunette to burst in laughter.

“You’re so cute, babe.” The girl gushed, cradling Juliana’s cheek. She moved her face closer, her intention clear.

Juliana captured that soft bottom lip in between hers, keeping the kiss gentle and slow. She let the gesture calm her down. She let it tell her that she wasn’t alone, that she would always feel understood.

“You’re beautiful.” Juliana sighed as they broke the kiss, tucking strand of hair behind the girl’s ear. “Thank you for making sure I was okay. I didn’t even have to ask.”

“You never have to thank me for loving you, Juli.” The girl said earnestly, eyes shining with so much affection. But then her smile turned cheeky, letting Juliana know that she was about to say something totally silly.

“Besides, my fiancée is this elusive, mysterious, world class fashion designer, and I need to let everyone know that you’re with me.”

“Ah, so I’m just your arm candy for the night, got it.” Juliana responded nonchalantly, nodding her head, holding back her smile.

“Well…” The girl started, pulling up her left hand. “If this ring is any indication then I believe I’d have you more than just tonight.” She finished playfully, arching her eyebrows.

Juliana softened once more, gazing at her fiancée ardently. “You’d have me for always.” She affirmed, stroking the girl’s cheek.

Smiling that beautiful wide smile of hers, the girl softly replied, “I love you, Juli.”

“I love you, Taylor.”

\-----

It was loud and crowded and everything she would have liked to avoid but she knew she had to be there. She _wanted_ to be there. She wanted Taylor to receive the celebration she deserve. And these people surely delivered. The red carpet that had greeted them as soon as they got down from the car was so extravagant, it could have easily been mistaken as a catwalk.

All these faces that had become familiar to her; models, photographers, critiques, even some of the interviewers that managed to sneak two minutes of interview with them, they had become such a constant in this whirlwind world of fashion she had divulged herself in for the past 6 years. Constant, yet so blurred and insignificant at times. Sometimes she wondered if she had made the right career choice. Sometimes she wondered if she really had gotten everything she had wished for when she was just 18.

She could try her best but deep down she knew, her heart knew that something was still missing.

She smiled and nodded gracefully every time someone stopped them to make small talks. She kept shifting the attention back to Taylor, the latest addition to the prestigious team of Victoria Secret, the literal “Model of the Year”, whenever they tried to praise Juliana’s latest line, whenever someone tried to persuade her into talking about her upcoming fashion show in Barcelona.

Taylor was patient and kind and supportive and her fiancée would certainly charge along those people who wanted nothing more than to gush about Juliana’s work. And she couldn’t have that, the night was all about Taylor, all the hard work she had put in that finally granted her the title, and she was gonna make that clear. She would smile and gush about her fiancée as best as she could, despite her rather reserved demeanor.

“Taylor!”

Juliana turned her head as Taylor disentangled her hold from Juliana’s arm. She watched as the Hadid Sisters approached them, seemingly bursting with excitement. She took a step back as her fiancée moved to envelop them in a hug. She tilted her head, smiling contentedly, letting the girls catch up as if they hadn’t seen each other for years.

She let her eyes wander around the room, amazement still filling her up. Surreal. That was the only word she could use to describe her life now. Everything felt so surreal and she often found herself feeling overwhelmed. She was casting her gaze across the room when something caught her attention. A back of a person she couldn’t quite place because she was sure she had never seen her before in one of these events.

“…right, Juli?”

“Huh?” She quickly averted her gaze back to Taylor, greeted by curious looks from her fiancée and the sisters. “I’m sorry, my mind was somewhere else.” She admitted, looking apologetic.

Taylor just smiled, tangling their arms once more. “Yes, please pardon my genius of a fiancée who often gets lost in her own brilliance.” She gushed once more, kissing the side of her head lightly.

Juliana bowed her head down, biting her bottom lip. She really didn’t know how to respond to that. She still felt like she didn’t deserve all the high praises no matter how successful and famous she had gotten.

“Aw, look at you two. Why can’t I have what you have?” Gigi teased, somewhat pouting. She slightly leaned her head against Bella’s shoulder.

“Because most men are jerks, that’s why.” Bella quipped, rolling her eyes.

The girls burst in laughter that Juliana joined in half-heartedly. She had heard of news and rumors surrounding the sisters’ love lives but honestly, she couldn’t care enough to really know the extent of their supposed turmoil in the romantic department.

“So babe, Gigi wanted to know if you’re actually done picking out models for your next show. And I told her that there’s still some slots opened, right?”

“Yeah, I still haven’t made up my mind for several looks.” Juliana said as she shifted her attention towards the sisters. “Do you two happen to be interested?”

Gigi instantly scoffed in disbelief. “Are we interested? It’d be the highlight of our career to walk on the runway wearing one of your designs.”

Juliana smiled wholeheartedly this time, tilting her head. “Well then, have your agent call one of my assistants so we could set up a date for a reviewing.”

Gigi squealed like a child while Bella just uttered a silent thank you, both sincere in their own way. Juliana could also feel Taylor buzzing in excitement, happy for her friends. Juliana had always loved that about her, how truly genuine Taylor was.

“Oh!” Gigi clasped her hands together, looking rather alarmed. “You wouldn’t believe who’s actually here, girl!” She disclosed, grabbing Taylor by the arm.

“Who?”

“Your idol!”

Juliana observed as Taylor’s eyes widened, a mixed of disbelief and intrigue. She scrunched her eyebrows, trying to remember if Taylor ever mentioned having an idol that was so prominent that it would prompt such reaction. She came up blank but then this sense of disarray hit her, as if something big was gonna change the course of her entire life and there was nothing she could do about it.

She shook herself out of it as she returned her attention back to Taylor, who was once more gushing, but it wasn’t about her this time.

“I can’t believe she’s back. I thought she was still finishing her master in Oxford University.”

“Well, she’s done and of course, she graduated with honors.”

“She can’t be anymore cool.” Taylor breathed in awe. “Where is she? I want to go and introduce myself.”

At that Juliana decided to chime in. “On that note, why don’t you go along with them first, Tay? I’m gonna go and get us some drinks. The waiters kept passing us with already empty trays.”

“But you’ll catch up with us, right? I also want you to meet her.” Taylor pleaded and Juliana could see how important it was to her fiancée so despite her aversion of having to make conversation with someone new, she nodded her head, smiling assuredly.

“I’ll be right there.”

\-----

Holding two flutes of champagne, Juliana navigated through the throng of people occupying the marvelous ballroom. She stopped for a few seconds whenever someone called her name and subtly insisted on getting into her good graces. Often enough she had to stay a bit longer if they felt the need to document the short interaction so that later they could post the pictures on their Instagram pages.

She kept having to gesture towards the two flutes in her hand, tilting her head apologetically as she reminded them that she had a fiancée to get back to. With a smile and a promise of a future encounter (that would be so unlikely to happen, she’d figure out how to get out of each one), she managed to get away from the crowd that seemed adamant to suck her into oblivion.

She eventually spotted Taylor, all animated in her gestures, mesmerizing in such way that brought a loving smile across Juliana’s lips. Her steps grew rushed as she couldn’t wait to be by Taylor’s side again. As she got closer, her gaze fell on the figure standing opposite of her fiancée. The woman was tall, but not as tall as Taylor. Even from behind she could tell how poise and regal the woman was in her posture and mannerism.

She knew the second Taylor’s sight fell on her because her fiancée’s smile got wider, her whole demeanor got perkier and the girl beckoned her over with such urgency.

“Juli, come!”

And so she braced herself as another round of hollow conversation was becoming inevitable. She just wished it would be over quickly. She didn’t doubt that this person Taylor idolize was actually an amazing human being but she could feel her quota of social interaction was running thin already. She took another step as the mysterious woman turned her body around.

It took everything in her not to completely freeze on the spot because the bluest eyes she had ever come across in her life, as blue as the sky on a summer day, as alluring as the waves calling for the shore, locked with hers and she found herself suddenly spellbound. And she wasn’t surprised at how familiar the feeling actually was.

Her heart was racing, but she hid it well as she continued to take her place by Taylor’s side. She handed the champagne flute to her fiancée, getting a light peck on her cheek in return. It didn’t take long for Taylor to finally make the introduction. As the girl swiftly directed Juliana’s attention to the striking woman standing before them.

“Babe, this is my literal idol. She was the one that inspired me to go into modelling and she has this blog, remember I told you about the blog? She writes article about feminism and other social issues that are so illuminating.” Taylor rambled on with such exuberance, Juliana was so transfixed but then a sweet and smooth voice broke her out of her bubble.

“Oh stop, Taylor, you’re giving me too much credit.”

Juliana looked up, catching azure eyes fixed at her. She didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t make up her mind on the proper response she should offer. Her mind was jumbled up with pieces of memories she had long forgotten how to assemble. And it didn’t help that the other woman was just standing there all elegant and collected.

Taylor seemed to miss her inner turmoil as she continued to bridge the introduction. “Babe, this is Valentina Carvajal. Valentina, this is my fiancée…”

“Juliana Valdés.” Valentina completed effortlessly. “I don’t think someone of her caliber need an introduction anymore.”

Juliana gulped, smiling cumbersomely. She reached her hand out, opting for a proper handshake. She watched as Valentina’s gaze dropped at the proffered hand. She could see that the woman was hesitating but it was gone in a blink of an eye as Valentina continued to offer such sweet smile, shaking her hand firmly.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Valentina.”

\-----

“Admiring the night sky?”

Juliana clenched her jaw, wringing her hands tighter together as she continued to stare at the vastness of the universe. She didn’t spare the intruder even a glance. She couldn’t.

“I just need to breathe. It’s getting too crowded in there.” She said coolly, pretending that the woman who was approaching her didn’t hold so much power over her. If she was honest, her feet had carried her out onto the balcony in their own accord. She just had to get away from it all and the second she had gotten the chance, she took it, knowing full well that Taylor was rather preoccupied and it would last long enough to give her the chance to collect herself.

She waited in bated breath and shivered when Valentina finally stood right beside her, leaning against the railing, mimicking her stance. Not too close that they were touching but close enough to sway her resolve. For a while it was just silence between them and she thought that perhaps it would be best if she just walked away. But then she heard Valentina sigh, desolate and rueful.

And even after everything, she still couldn’t resist her.

“So are we just gonna pretend that we don’t actually know each other?”

Juliana closed her eyes slowly as she licked her lips. She should have listened to her gut feeling. She should have told Taylor that she didn’t want to come. She had tried very hard to move on from her past and she thought she had but then fate or destiny or whatever it was, decided that she wasn’t quite finished with this chapter.

“Juls…”

“Don’t call me that.” Juliana said sternly, shaking her head. “You don’t get to call me that, Valentina.” She continued, straightening her posture. She turned her body to fully face Valentina now. Eyes ablaze with determination, she curled her fists and it had been years but the memories unraveled in her head clearly and profoundly.  

 

_Their eyes locked and Juliana stopped in her track. The girl before her was so…beautiful. And the word still didn’t do her justice. But how could such enchanting eyes hold so much sadness? She shifted her weight onto her right leg, clasping her hands together, cautious and uncertain._

_“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”_

_Valentina wiped her tears away with the heel of her hand, glancing up to find the stranger looking at her with such thoughtful eyes. But she was a complete stranger, Valentina didn’t think she had seen the girl around campus before. She couldn’t possibly pour her heart out to a total stranger, right?_

_“No. I just want to be alone.” She said dismissively, turning her gaze away from the girl, trying to hide her sorrow._

_Juliana heard the girl, loud and clear but for whatever reason she didn’t believe that the girl actually meant those words. She weighed her options, shoving her hands inside her back pockets, scuffing her shoe against the ground. She stayed quiet for a few seconds, fixing her eyes to the ground._

_She flitted her gaze up, finding the girl still looking away. “Alright then, I’m sorry to bother you.” She started to turn away but then stopped herself. “Whatever it is, I hope you’ll feel better soon.”_

_Valentina dared herself to really look at this stranger, finding that she was being drawn by such indescribable pull that she had never felt before in her life. And as she watched the girl completely flipped her body around, she called out._

_“Wait, I’m sorry. I…” Her gaze dropped again but she could see from her peripheral vision that the girl had heard her and she was still standing there. “Thank you.” She stammered out, tucking strand of hair behind her ear. She fixed her gaze at the stranger, trying to convey more than what words could. “I’m fine.”_

_Valentina pulled her legs up against her chest, circling her arms around them. Defensive, closed off, she thought the girl would just walk away, any minute now. Because why would she care about some stranger crying on the rooftop of the anthropology building? No people in their right mind would give a damn._

_But the girl proved her wrong as she perched down, sitting right next to her with her legs crossed. Valentina thought that she was gonna say something, anything, but the girl didn’t even try to coax Valentina into looking at her and for that she was truly grateful._

_Juliana sighed, fixing her eyes upward. It was a peculiar feeling, she didn’t think she should leave this girl alone. She didn’t think she could. But she wasn’t good at this, the whole consoling stuff, it just wasn’t her strongest suit. Her being there was all that she could offer._

_“I’m just gonna sit here with you, if that’s alright. If you need to vent, I’d listen. If you just want to stay in silence, I’d stay with you. Just know that you’re not alone, okay?” She chanced a glance at the girl, offering a small smile, hoping that she could convince her that she just wanted to help, somehow._

_She saw the girl nod slightly and she thought that that was enough, that she had done the right thing. She’d stay there as long as the girl wanted her to. She regulated her breathing, casting her gaze forward. For a while it was silent and she was okay with that. But then a hand came into sight, prompting her to turn her head toward the girl._

_“Valentina.”_

_Enclosing that hand in hers, she simply said, “Juliana.”_

“Juliana, please…”

“We are strangers now, Valentina. So we’re not pretending not to know each other because we really don’t know each other.” Juliana uttered vehemently, crossing her arms over her chest. She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince.

Valentina looked at her, questioning, searching. For what, she didn’t know. But Juliana could feel her conviction crumble. She should have just walked away. But she never could, could she? From the very first time her eyes had landed on Valentina, she had been screwed for life.

Valentina nodded, tucking her head down. “If that’s what you want. I understand, Juliana.”

Juliana sighed, looking away. She didn’t have enough left in her for this. “Do you want to know what I really want?” She asked forlornly, shifting her gaze back at Valentina, finding that the woman was already looking at her in the way that only she could. And for a second, she was weak in the knees again. For a second, she remembered the feeling of being enthralled by the brightest warmest eyes in existence.

But it all had been mere wishful thinking. She was with Taylor now and her reality was better. She was better now. So she uncrossed her arms, regarding Valentina with such nonchalance in her eyes as the woman stared deeply, waiting, expecting.

“What I want is to forget how my first love broke my heart and left me without any explanation.” She said resolutely.

She didn’t wait for a response, she didn’t need to. And for the first time in her life, she walked away from the person who had taught her love.

\-----

[Tumblr](http://daenrz.tumblr.com)

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	2. where it all started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth? It always has different sides, doesn't it?  
> Valentina's POV with a rather introspective approach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite honestly, the reception to this story has blown my mind. I truly didn't expect it.  
> I mean, more than 2k hits now? And I've even gained 50+ new followers on Tumblr! Like...what?  
> Thank you so much for your support and for all the nice encouraging words, thank you for welcoming me to the fandom.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter too. It's kinda slow paced, I know. But oh well, it is meant to be a slow burn. Oh! I should add that to the tags. And Juliantina interaction next chapter! Do let me know what you think of this one. I wish you all a happy Sunday! Monday is close!

_Valentina stomped her foot as she finally reached the rooftop. She didn’t know how she actually got there; she just knew that she needed to get away for a while and she decided to be reckless. She wasn’t sure whether not students were allowed there. But she couldn’t care less, her life had hit rock bottom, what else could go wrong?_

_She walked across the space until she got close to the edge. The sight of Washington Square Park came into view and she couldn’t help but think that it would be so easy, so very easy, for her to just fall. She took a deep breath and then continued to tilt her head up, and like never before, let out a shrieking agonizing scream, giving it all she had._

_She kept it loud and hard, freeing all of her frustrations, fists clenching hard by the sides of her body. She gave everything she got and ended up quite breathless, her chest heaving. But it still wasn’t enough, the respite she felt was so short-lived. This heaviness within her, it was so constricting and she didn’t have the strength to hold back her tears._

_Her whole body started shaking, sorrowful sobs escaping her. She hastily spun her body around, letting gravity take its course as she slid down against ledge, hoping the ground would just swallow her whole. She tilted her head back, putting her hands over her face as she let out more tears she didn’t think she’d still have. And for a while, just for a fleeting second, she could tune out the world, though the voices in her head remained loud and persistent._

_But then her ears picked up on some shuffling sound and it certainly got her attention as she looked up, finding a girl with dark thoughtful eyes standing before her._

_“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”_

\-----

Valentina scrolled through her phone mindlessly, a glass of wine swirling at her fingertips. She took another sip as her gaze continued to glance over her Instagram search feed. She knew she shouldn’t, she shouldn’t go on any social media outlet because it would be so very easy to stumble upon some posts on a certain someone.

Though if she was being honest, those set of intense brown eyes had been a permanent fixture etched deeply on her mind, she couldn’t escape her no matter how hard she tried.

A photo caught her attention and it stopped her in her tracks. She slowly put her glass down, licking her lips. She got ahold of her phone with both hands now, biting her bottom lip, pondering her next action. She shouldn’t, she knew. But her heart was so stubborn and she just needed something to hold onto. Swallowing hard, she clicked on the photo and immediately regretted her decision.

Those familiar brown eyes greeted her but that look, that gaze, it wasn’t meant for her anymore. It was a candid of Juliana and Taylor. The couple sitting closely side by side, with Taylor tilting her head back, laughing so cheerfully and Juliana, with her perfect side profile and her unyielding gaze, was smiling ardently, eyes gazing lovingly at Taylor. Taylor, Juliana’s fiancée. Taylor, her utterly beautiful and amazing fiancée.

Valentina shook her head as she flipped her phone and set it down on the table. She sighed, propping her elbows on the table, burying her face in her hands. She shouldn’t keep doing this. She had made peace with her decision years ago and she should stick with it. She should have moved on a long time ago but it’s always easier said than done, isn’t it?

“Ah, Valentina…” She breathed out, closing her eyes shut. “You need to stop. Just stop.”

“Stop what?”

At the familiar voice, Valentina immediately straightened out in her seat, flipping her head towards the source of the voice. Seeing her brother by the doorway, a smile instantly graced her face. She got out of her chair as her brother approached her. Her slender body was quickly embraced within the strong yet gentle arms of her loving brother and for the first time in a few days, she got to breathe just a little bit easier.

“Guille! I thought you were coming back tomorrow.” She uttered, burrowing her face against Guillermo’s shoulder.

“And miss another day of seeing my beautiful sister? Impossible.” Guillermo responded softly, tightening his hold just a bit. It had been quite a while since he last saw her. He moved to kiss the side of Valentina’s head, earning an endearing smile from her.

They let go of each other after a while and Valentina pulled her brother toward the dining table. She settled back in her seat as Guillermo pulled out another seat to perch on. Valentina tilted her head thoughtfully, taking in her brother’s features, a loving smile painting her face.

“I’ve missed you, Guille.” She whispered, reaching her hand out across the table. “I’m so glad to be here right now.”

“You know my home is always open for you, Val. Renata and I are happy you’re here.” Guillermo looked at her like he understood, eyes kind and patient. He took Valentina’s hand in his, gently stroking her skin. “How are you, _hermanita_?”

Valentina locked her eyes with her brother’s, her façade cracking at how those bright brown eyes remind her that she didn’t need to hide. “I’ve been better.” She finally said, shrugging her shoulder. “But I’ve been worse so I guess I’m just…” She trailed off, exhaling deeply. “I’m okay.”

“I’m sorry you had to go to the event. They needed a representative from our company to come and I got tied up in Florida.”

Valentina shook her head, smiling forlornly as her gaze dropped. “It’s okay, Guille, it was…fine.” It was far than fine and she knew that but she couldn’t possibly be breaking down over this again, could she?

Guillermo chuckled, eyes searching knowingly. “You know it’s okay to say that you’re not okay or fine. It’s me, Vale, just talk to me.”

Her eyes got watery, her lips trembled. She shouldn’t have let it get to her. She had moved on, she had let it go. She had let _her_ go. But the way her brother was looking at her, she knew she wasn’t fooling him. She definitely couldn’t even fool her own heart. “She’s happy now, Guille. She seemed so happy and I want to be happy for her but…”

“It still hurts.” Guillermo completed perceptively, reaching for both of her hands, enclosing them in his. “Did you talk to her?” He asked hesitantly, sympathetic and careful.

“I actually talked to her fiancée more.” Valentina chuckled bitterly, tears brimming. “And she’s just…she’s good for Juliana. I could feel it. She came to me wanting to thank me for inspiring her and ended up gushing about Juliana for the rest of it.” Her smile slowly diminishing, she bowed her head down and finally let the tears scroll down her cheeks.

Guillermo hesitated, tilting his head. Sighing, he got up from his seat and moved to squat in front of her little sister. He glanced up, trying to get Valentina to look at him. Finally locking his gaze with Valentina’s, he charged forward to once more hold his little sister in his arms and Valentina just fell into the protective embrace, burying her head, staining Guillermo’s shirt with her unbridled tears.

“She even pretended that we didn’t know each other, Guille.” She stammered in between sobs, clutching the fabric of Guillermo’s shirt hard. “And I can’t blame her for that, can I?”

Guillermo hummed, running his hand up and down Valentina’s back. “You should have told her the truth, _hermanita_.”

At that, Valentina pulled back just a fraction, wiping the tears away with the heel of her hand. She couldn’t stop the tears from coming, but her agony was silent as she swallowed down her feelings. She let Guillermo take her hands, giving her the strength to say her thought out loud. She fixed her eyes at her brother, exhaling long and hard. “That truth wouldn’t matter, Guille.”

“Why not?”

“Because the truth now, no matter how much I still love her, she has loved another.”

\-----

Valentina made her way along the cobblestone pavement of 9th Avenue with rushed steps, slightly tucking her head down, letting her long mane hide her face. She still couldn’t believe that some paparazzi still cared enough to follow her around whenever they got the chance. She didn’t think that she was still _that_ relevant. Surely not when they had already got the perfect Model of the Year…

She vehemently chastised herself, getting rid of that particular train of thought. It wasn’t right. She shouldn’t let that kind of thought seep into her consciousness. She was being bitter and envious, she acknowledged that and she certainly didn’t want to stay in that mindset. She needed to separate herself from everything that would remind her of Juliana.

Upon seeing the double black door of the familiar coffee shop, she slowed down. The last time she had been here was… She sighed. This was becoming ridiculous. Why did she even go here? Because it was in the area, she’d argue. But she knew that wasn’t the only reason. She gazed further, observing the patio area where she had stumbled upon Juliana once again after their unexpected first encounter on the rooftop.

So much from separating herself from everything Juliana. She scoffed at herself, trudging through the door with vigor. She continued making her way to the counter, eyeing the menu board. She quickly decided on a Macchiato and then charmingly smiled at the barista, making her order to go. She quickly paid and step aside further into the shop to let other customers through.

She stood by the pick-up line, tapping her fingers against the counter. She was trying so hard not to let her gaze wander but a roar of laughter piqued her interest and she turned her eyes towards the corner of the backroom, finding a group of people looking young enough to be college students sitting in the corner sofa.

She gulped as the memory of all the time she had spent there with Juliana come to the surface, the sound of their shared laughter echoing in her head. All those late nights they had spent there studying or just talking, getting all wrapped in a cocoon of solitude where no one else existed. All the time she had just sat there waiting for Juliana to finish her shift, not minding the lack of interaction as long as she got to simply look at her.

“Valentina?”

She whipped her head around, finding green eyes looking back at her. Of course, the universe just couldn’t give her any break, could it?

“Taylor…” She breathed, smiling widely, trying to mask her surprise.

“I can’t believe I bumped into you here!” The young woman exclaimed, her smile as bright as her eyes. Valentina wondered if that had been one of the reasons why Juliana had fallen for her. Taylor moved to hug her with one arm and Valentina accepted it, returning the quick embrace.

“Yeah, who would have thought?” Valentina returned the sentiment, pulling back first. She tucked her hair behind her ear before she wrung her hands together in front of her. She subtly scanned the girl, noticing her sporty outfit, messy bun and faintly glistening skin. But perhaps she wasn’t subtle enough.

“Oh!” Taylor gasped, arm flailing. “Please excuse my disheveled look, I just finished a dance class. The studio is just right around the corner.”

Valentina shook her head, smiling apologetically. “You look great, Taylor. I was just wondering the kind of exercise you did. Dance class, huh?”

“Yeah…” Taylor affirmed, smiling sheepishly. “It’s a good exercise for improving my balance and posture and for whenever I have to walk the Victoria Secret runway. I’m sort of a klutz sometimes.”

“And it doesn’t hurt that it helps you crush the dance floor when you’re out partying, right?” Valentina joked, earning a chuckle out of the green eyed beauty.

“That’s true. Though I think my days of partying is behind me already.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Juli doesn’t really like it. She would just tell me that I should still go out and be with my friends but…” Taylor’s gaze turned soft, cheeks blushed. “I just want to spend all of my time with her, you know?”

Valentina tried, she really did. She tried not to get affected, she tried to numb her senses. But she was only human and her heart, that hadn’t been fully mended in the first place, cracked even more. Yeah, she did know. Swallowing down her emotions, she forced a smile onto her face. “Yeah, I believe I can relate to the feeling. So…” She cleared her throat, clenching her jaw. “Does Juliana take the dance class too?” _Not that she needs it_ , she thought.

Taylor spluttered, shaking her head in glee. “Juli? Dancing? That’s so not her thing. I think I even need to force her to take a class to prepare for our wedding dance.”

Valentina scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. Surely she had heard it wrong? But before she could say anything else, Taylor’s phone beeped, breaking the girl’s attention on her. Taylor glanced over the screen before she acknowledged Valentina once more. “I’m sorry, I have to check this real quick.”

“Sure, no problem.” Valentina said, waving her hand dismissively. She turned her gaze away, giving the girl some sense of privacy. Not that she could register anything that went on around her as flashes of past memory playing in her mind, vivid and profound.

 

_“Shall we dance?”_

_“But I’ve never danced to this kind of song.”_

_“Come on, it’s gonna be fun.”_

_“No, I’m serious, I can’t.”_

_“You don’t have to know how to dance. Just dance.”_

_“Easy for you to say because you dance beautifully. You don’t understand my difficulty, Juls.”_

_“Val, it’s not that difficult, just…”_

_“You know what? You’re gonna teach me how to dance.”_

_“Me? I’m no teacher, Val.”_

_“But you do it so well. At least you’re better than me. Imagine if I get invited to some charity ball or something and I have to dance with someone and I… ”_

_“Okay, okay. I’ll teach you how to dance. Only because you’re teaching me how to swim.”_

_“Deal.”_

_“Okay, come here. First, stand in front of me…”_

 

“Valentina…”

God, she really should stop herself from getting lost in her head over and over again. She abruptly flipped her head up, turning her attention back at Taylor. She noticed the apologetic smile painting Taylor’s lips, relief washing over her because their interaction was coming to end.

“I’m sorry. That was my agent. I really need to go and sort some things out.”

“Don’t worry, I understand.” Valentina offered, grasping the girl’s forearm for a second. “It’s really nice to meet you again, Taylor.”

“You too, Valentina.” The girl’s smile widened as she moved to peck Valentina’s cheek. “I hope we can bump into each other again.”

_God, I hope not_. “I’m sure we will at some point.” She said instead. She should have been an actress. All this pretending she had been doing, she deserved a freaking Oscar.

She observed Taylor’s retreating back, tilting her head in contemplation. She really wanted to hate on Taylor, like some insecure girl masking her jealousy over other’s virtues. But deep down she couldn’t feel anything but reprieve at the fact that Juliana had made it and she had found someone worthy of her, someone good who seemed to be deserving of Juliana’s heart in return.

The barista finally called on her name and she didn’t waste any time as she snatched her cup of coffee and made her way out. She didn’t bother with the little voice at the back of her mind telling her that perhaps Juliana had been keeping parts of their story safe, away from the world as they knew it. The way it had always been between them.

\-----

“We’re here, Miss…”

Leaning against the window, Valentina slightly gasped as she broke out of her musing. She really needed to get her head straight. She couldn’t keep thinking about all the what ifs. She gazed through the window, observing the familiar West Village townhouse she had been to so many times before. She had thought she would never be here again.

The chauffeur swiftly got out of the car to open the door for her. She took the proffered hand, getting down from the SUV. She gained her balance, looking up to observe the building once more. She didn’t think anything had changed at all. But before she let her train of thought go astray again, she turned her attention to her chauffeur.

“Thank you, Alirio. I won’t be long. Half an hour, max.” She disclosed, smiling sweetly at the man who had practically taken care of her all her life. She couldn’t be more grateful for all the people that had been working for her family for years and years, showing true meaning of loyalty and dedication.

“Don’t worry, Miss. I will be waiting for however long.” Alirio smiled warmly, bowing slightly. 

Valentina offered another smile to Alirio before she finally stepped forward, bracing herself she made her way into the place that held so much memory of _her_. She shouldn’t have gone back to New York in the first place.

\-----

“Vale!”

Valentina smiled, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. She readily extended her arms, accepting the embrace Rafaela welcomed her with. She remained still, taking in the sense of familiarity the woman give her. Rafaela sure reminded her of her late mother, kind and graceful. She pulled back, smiling sweetly as the woman took a better look at her.

“Ah, look at you. You’re really as beautiful as your mother, Valentina.”

“And you’re the epitome of everlasting beauty, Rafaela.”

“Ah…” Rafaela slapped her upper arm weakly, shaking her head. “You’ve always had such way with words, my dear child.” She cooed, tapping Valentina’s cheek lovingly. “Come, sit with me.”

Rafaela led her outside to the patio where a set of couch and coffee table taking up half the space. She sat down across from Rafaela, her back to the entrance they had gone through. She took the time to admire the open skyline, taking in the understated buzz of the city. She turned her eyes back at Rafaela, catching a contented smile on the woman’s face.

“What is it?”

“You just look different, Vale. Something is different.”

“How?” Valentina quirked her eyebrows, brushing the side of her neck. Heart thumping, she grew slightly uncomfortable. Rafaela looked at her as if she could right through her soul and she would find that indeed she was different. She was in pieces, broken and fragile.

“The last time we met, ah it was so long ago, but you were simply glowing. Like you were in love. And I think you were and I didn’t bother to ask just because seeing you so happy and carefree, it was enough.” Rafaela reminisced, fixing a motherly gaze at Valentina.

Valentina fidgeted in her seat, clearing her throat, fixing her hair behind her shoulder. “Yeah, it was, hmm, there were times when I felt that life was so simple and I just needed to live it the best that I could.”

It seemed that Rafaela sensed this discomfort as she moved on to another topic and Valentina exhaled long in relief. “Okay, let’s not be stuck in the past. You’ve finished your Master! Congratulations, _mi niña_.”

“Thank you, Rafaela. I’m glad it’s done and over with.” Valentina disclosed, moving to rest her elbows on her knees, intertwining her fingers.

“You know your parents would be so proud of you, Vale.”

“I really hope so.” Valentina said wistfully, gaze softening at the mention of her parents. “So, what’s the reason you called me? It sounded urgent.”

“Ah, yes! Let’s talk about that. So, I know it’s not gonna be hard hitting journalism or anything like that but I was thinking perhaps you’d be interested in conducting an exclusive interview?”

“An exclusive interview?” Valentina reiterated, arching her eyebrow.

“Yes, the 25th anniversary of my institute is coming up and I’d like to compose a special edition e-magazine to celebrate the occasion. It’s gonna be the usual fashion spread but also some exclusive interviews with some of my brightest pupils that have hit stardom.” Rafaela divulged, putting both of her hands up to further emphasize the magnitude of this project.

Valentina tilted her head, licking her lips. “Okay, that sounds great. How do you want to do this? Should I have a sit down interview with all the candidates on the list and have it officially taped for the website or can I conduct my own interview behind the scene?”

“I haven’t decided that far but I have only gathered four of my best successors and I actually want you to highlight just one of them and I think it’s only right because it’s like coming back full circle now.”

“Oh?” Valentina breathed, heart thrumming in her chest. She knew where this was going and she _really_ wished she hadn’t gone back to New York. She pushed down the lump in her throat, biting on her bottom lip. “And who’s…”

“Rafaela, I’m so sorry I’m late…”

“Juliana!” Rafaela exclaimed, shooting up from her seat to rush towards the doorway.

Valentina froze in her seat, chest constricted. Digging her finger onto her thighs, she regulated her suddenly bated breaths. The day really couldn’t get any worse. Why did she even leave the house? She could hear them, fuzzy in the background, blocked by the loudness of her inner voice that kept yelling at her to move or say something.

“Vale…” Rafaela called out and Valentina really wished she could just run.

Swallowing her emotions one last time, she slowly got on her feet. Her legs unsteady, and her whole body trembling, but she convinced herself to turn her body around. Those eyes were familiar as ever, but that hard gaze, the cold look, those were definitely something she needed to get used to now. She decided to break the silence first, not wanting Rafaela to catch on anything.

“Hi, Juliana…”

\-----

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	3. and the paths we have taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (reposting this because the last update was all glitchy on the date, I'm sorry for all the lost comments but know that I really appreciate them)
> 
> You gays, I'm sorry this took longer than expected! I hope you're still into this. If not, that's okay too. Just know that I truly appreciate your support and patience. The show is over but I hope we'll keep Juliantina alive for years and years. The ship, the characters and the actresses playing them, this fandom; I can honestly say it all has brought such immense joy in my life. Thank you. Let me know what you think of this one!
> 
> P.S. And seriously, I still can't believe that my random imagination has clashed with reality as Taylor Hill actually attended an event where our girls were at too. I couldn't help but squeal because it was just so crazy!

_“James, I’m gonna clean outside, yeah?” Juliana shouted over her shoulder, pushing the bus tray against her side. Once she was out the door, she made her way to the table on her right. She set the tray on one of the seats, stowing away the dirty plates and glasses. She glanced up and smiled when she noticed the patrons from the table on the left take off and leave. “Thank you, come again!”_

_She went back to the task at hand, focused and determined. It had been a long day and she couldn’t wait to go on her break and just breathe. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she surely didn’t see it coming._

_“_   _Hey, Miss…_   _”_

_Juliana jumped, clutching at her chest. “Oh, God…” She turned abruptly, finding Valentina standing right there, all apologetic gaze and sweet smile. “You startled me.”_

_Valentina tucked her head down, brushing her hair over her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”_

_Juliana had never met someone who could be so effortlessly adorable the way Valentina was. But flashes of memory of their first encounter came rushing and she couldn’t help but wonder if Valentina was so used to hiding the way she was._

_“What are you doing here?” She asked but then realized her stupidity as she registered where they were. “I mean, I’m sure you’re just looking for some dose of caffeine.”_

_Valentine tilted her head, wringing her hands behind her back. “Well, I’ve actually never been here before.” She said, glancing over the building of the coffee shop. She diverted her eyes back on Juliana, smiling contentedly. “I was passing the street and I saw you so I asked my driver to stop.”_

Driver, of course _. Juliana’s gaze dropped, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Her roommate’s words rang loud and clear in her head. She had been so clueless that day on the rooftop but Sarah had made sure that she got well-informed with the hierarchy of the elite families of New York, which now she knew, Valentina’s family was on top of._

_Juliana ignored the self-deprecating voice, bracing herself to look Valentina in the eye. “So, how are you?” She inquired, eyes searching carefully._

_Valentina’s smile grew softer, subdued. She bowed her head down slightly, biting her bottom lip. “Better now.”_

_Juliana smiled, relief washing over her unexpectedly. She didn’t understand it but she really wanted this girl to be okay. She really wanted that smile to stay on her face. She wanted this stranger to be happy. She didn’t know the extent of Valentina’s situation as she had refused to delve further into Sarah’s diatribe. That girl would have spent hours telling her all the gossip had she let her. For some reason, that was not the way she wanted to get to know Valentina._

_Not that she had hoped that she would get the chance. Their lives, existing in the opposite of ends, stretched so far away seemingly impossible to tangle. And yet here they were again, paths intertwining once more. Unpredictably yet impeccably. Juliana wanted to believe that it must have meant something._

_“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Juliana uttered, pulling on the loose thread of the rug she was holding. “Um, I need to go back to work actually.” She said as she glanced over the bus tray sitting behind her._

_“Do you want to get some coffee?” Valentina asked, rushed. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be coffee, you’re probably sick of it already since you’re working here.” She rambled on, flailing her hand. “Just, um, would you want to?”_

_Juliana hesitated, going through all the reasons why she couldn’t accept the invitation but find that she didn’t have any real point to reject the girl. “I-I don’t know.”_

_“Please?” Valentina pleaded and Juliana was sure that no one in their right mind would have the willpower to deny her of anything._

_“I still have so much work to do.” She said in hesitation, averting her gaze toward the bus tray once more._

_“Oh, okay. I understand.” Valentina said, dropping her gaze. “Well, I’ll leave you to it then.” She offered, smiling, understanding. And Juliana couldn’t figure out why but the thought of disappointing Valentina didn’t sit right with her._

_Before the girl fully turned and walked away, Juliana stopped her, reaching for Valentina’s forearm. “Wait…”_

_Valentina instantly locked those blue eyes with hers, hope shining in them. Juliana didn’t understand why it felt like she had known Valentina her whole life. She realized that there was so many things she didn’t understand when it came to Valentina. She graduated high school top of the class, and yet with this girl she felt so foolish._

_“I have my break in, like, 30 minutes?”_

_“Perfect.” Valentina affirmed, her smile growing wide once more. “I can just wait for you inside, if that’s okay. Or…do you want to actually find another place?” She asked, looking at Juliana expectantly._

_Juliana shrugged, pursing her lips. “I mean, I’m probably biased and totally bashing the competitor down the street but we do have excellent coffee here.”_

_Valentina laughed, unrestrained and free. And it was the most beautiful sight Juliana had ever seen. She chuckled along, admiring the unbridled joy coursing through the girl’s countenance. Happiness, yes, happiness looked good on Valentina and Juliana hoped that, no matter how small, no matter how fleeting their borrowed time would be, she could keep giving her a reason to smile._

_“Why don’t you wait in the back room on the corner couch? I think it’s still empty.” Juliana suggested as their laughter died down._

_Valentina nodded, eyes kind and bright. “Okay, I will.”_

_“Okay, good.” Juliana said, ready to get back to cleaning all the tables. Expecting Valentina to make her way inside, she started to flip her body around when that melodic voice stopped her in her tracks once more._

_“Hey, Juls…” It was soft and hesitant. As if Valentina was afraid that she would cross a line by saying the words she was gonna say in utter reverence._

_Juliana just arched her eyebrows, letting an easy smile grace her face at the sight of the girl who was quickly becoming her object of…she wasn’t even sure. All she knew was that she didn’t want to let go of this exhilarating yet grounding feeling. Something that made her feel like she was starting to belong. And she liked that,_ Juls _. No one had ever called her that before._

_Valentina’s eyes shone, the sunlight reflecting perfectly against bright irises, as bright as the soul hidden under silent rues and heartache. “Thank you…” She finally said, earnest and firm._

_Juliana tilted her head in confusion. “For what?”_

_“You don’t know this but…” Valentina drifted off, biting the corner of her bottom lip. “You saved me, back then.”_

_Juliana didn’t know, just yet, but she could feel it, how true those words were, how much Valentina really meant it. Juliana smiled, exhaling slowly. “You know, perhaps we’re just meant to save each other, Val.”_

\-----

Juliana had never been a religious person but she wanted to believe that there was a transcendent being out there, guiding her to a purpose or meaning of her existence. She believed in the bigger picture, that everything happened for a reason. That choices made wouldn’t lead to coincidences. That the master plan out there, fate as people liked to call it, was going to make sense, in line with the destiny she had been writing herself.

But right there and then, sitting across the woman she had been trying to erase from her mind, she couldn’t help but ask, ‘ _what the hell is the universe trying to tell me?_ ’ Hadn’t she suffered enough? Hadn’t she done practically everything right just to move on? Because if the universe knew better, she wouldn’t have been trapped in this situation.

There was no lesson she could gain from this, not anymore. Not after everything that had transpired years ago. She had made her peace with it, or so she thought. Because if she had, Valentina wouldn’t still have this hold over her, would she? Juliana seriously didn’t know what to think anymore. She couldn’t go back to this, questioning and second guessing herself. She just couldn’t.

“Juls… Juliana.”

She snapped out of it, finally directing her attention towards Valentina. Uncrossing her arms, she moved to rest her elbows on top of her knees, leaning her body forward. She wrung her hands together, lifting her gaze to look at Valentina. What could she even say? She sighed, pushing down the lump in her throat.

“So how are we gonna do this?” She asked, gaze cold and unwavering.

Valentina bowed her head, biting the corner of her bottom lip. “We don’t have to. It’s clear to me that you’re uncomfortable with this.”

Juliana arched her eyebrows, scoffing. “And you’re not because you’re clearly over what happened back then, right?” She uttered in spite, surprising herself with her lack of subtlety.

Valentina was taken aback, eyes widened at the sudden outburst. Juliana almost flinched at the pain flashing those clear blue eyes. She shouldn’t have said that. She should’ve controlled herself. What was going on with her? “I’m- I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.” She muttered, turning her gaze away.

Valentina chuckled bitterly, shaking her head. “It’s okay, I guess I deserve that.”

“No, you don’t.” Juliana swiftly affirmed, guilt swarming inside her. She breathed out, long and hard. “We should just focus on this interview and get it over with.”

“Juliana, I can just tell Rafaela that I’m not gonna be able to do it. I’ll come up with something.” Valentina assured, fixing her eyes at her, making Juliana feel that familiar yet unwelcomed thump in her heart.

“Do you really have the heart to disappoint her?” Juliana asked, raising her eyebrows challengingly. “We can be two professional adults working together on this project. I- I don’t mind.” She concluded, dropping her gaze, fiddling her fingers.

Valentina nodded, hesitant and unsure. “Okay then.” She acquiesced.

“So how is this gonna go?” Juliana reiterated, clearing her throat. She lifted her gaze, bracing herself for the collision of mixed emotions shining through those blue eyes. It felt like she was starting over, like she was getting used to something she had known so well before. There was this invisible barrier between them, subtle yet prominent and she hated it but she couldn’t let it go down again.

Valentina licked her lips, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Rafaela hasn’t given me more detail. I think she’s still figuring it all out. I’ll- Perhaps I can just text you when everything is settled and we can arrange something?”

“Sure.” Juliana consented, pulling out her phone from her coat pocket. “Just give me your number and I’ll, I’ll text you to let you know mine.” She said, passing her phone to Valentina. Juliana then averted her gaze away, afraid that she would get sucked in again. Valentina was…she had always been so magnetic. It was in everything, in the way that she carried herself, the way she talked and moved. It had always been more than just her looks.

And Juliana had gotten to see through all of those superficial layers, try as she might to move on, she still remembered clearly how effervescent and iridescent Valentina’s heart was. Sure, they were strangers now, people could change over the years, but the foundation that made Valentina who she was, had always been her heart and one couldn’t just forget such heart. After all, at one point that heart of hers had enveloped Juliana’s in a perfect solitude she never had before.

“Here you go.”

Juliana looked up, blinking out of her wandering mind. She took her phone back, smiling lopsidedly. “Thanks.”

She glanced over her screen, finding the contact Valentina had given her, noticing the name ‘Valentina’ written down. They were at that stage again, calling each other by their full first name, lacking of familiarity and warmth. But it was all her doing, wasn’t it? She had made sure that they weren’t going to cross that line again. That she wouldn’t risk being swayed by fragments of their past.

“I’ll text you.”

“Okay.”

Juliana licked her lips, refraining from saying anything more. She leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest, looking anywhere else but at Valentina. She glanced over her shoulder, finding Rafaela still talking animatedly on the phone, some client from France. She wished her mentor could just wrap it up already. She sighed, turning her attention back towards the space. Her hand moved up automatically, fingers hovering over her lips.

She chanced a look at Valentina, realizing that the girl was staring at her, specifically toward her hand and she realized what she had been doing subconsciously. She was biting her nail again and that look from Valentina brought all the memories of how the girl had always seemed to manage to stop her from fidgeting.

“Right…” She uttered lowly, moving her hand away.

Valentina chuckled lowly, gazing at Juliana with such tenderness in her eyes. “I guess some things don’t change.”

Juliana hummed, shrugging. “Some habits are just hard to break.”

“Juliana, are you sure we should do this? We’ve been sitting here together for less than 15 minutes and you already got so-”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Juliana retorted firmly, trying to assure herself more that she got a hold of the situation, that she wouldn’t come across as if she was still  _that_ affected by Valentina’s presence. Because she wasn’t. Not at all.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.”

And there it was again, that thump and flutter, that reminder, the reminiscence of how things used to be. Valentina had always been so respectful, she had always put Juliana’s needs first, and she had always made sure that everything was okay with Juliana. It was like, she had made Juliana’s comfort and happiness her number one priority. It had struck her dumb then, it wasn’t any different now.

Juliana exhaled, long and hard. She didn’t want them to be like this. She had never thought they’d ever end up like this. Or ended at all. But would it be wise for her heart to try and be cordial again with Valentina? Would Valentina even want that? Could she really move past everything without having any resemblance of closure?

Valentina was sitting right in front of her. She shouldn’t care about finding closure for how things had ended 5 years ago. But Valentina was sitting right there, looking at her with the same gaze she had always looked her with and Juliana’s resolve easily crumbled. How many times had she wished that she could just see her once more? That she could ask her what she had done wrong? Ask her why she had been unworthy to stay for?

Because as much as Valentina had jumped in with both feet, Juliana had also given her all to what once had been theirs and theirs alone.

“Juliana…”

Juliana looked up, eyes glistening. She clenched her jaw, gritting her teeth. She had been fooling herself. She had been such a convincing liar, to everyone, but above all, to herself. And Valentina, the person she hadn’t needed to hide herself from in any way was just there, gazing at her like nothing had changed, like…she still loved her. But that couldn’t be, could it?

“Why?” She breathed out, blinking slowly.

“Why?” Valentina reiterated searchingly.

Juliana braced herself, fixing her teary brown eyes right at those blue gems. “Why did you leave?” She finally uttered, silent and defeated.

Valentina swallowed, catching her breath. Her lips trembled, opening and closing with no words coming out. She dropped her gaze, wringing her hands tightly on her lap. “It doesn’t matter now, no?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if that was the case.” Juliana pushed, surprising herself with her persistence. She just needed to know. Her mind had gone through every single thing they had shared together over and over again, analyzing, doubting, and resenting. She had pushed it to the back of her mind but now that Valentina had come back into her life, everything had erupted back to the surface of her consciousness.

“Why would it matter, you’ve clearly managed to move on.” Valentina retorted, all sharp and daunting gaze, but the subtle crack in her voice wasn’t something Juliana could miss.

“Me?” Juliana derided in disbelief. She scoffed, turning her gaze away. She shook her head, pursing her lips. She then stared fearlessly at those blue eyes, refusing to hold back. “I seem to recall seeing you arm in arm with some European socialite just about a year after you moved away.”

“What?”

Realizing her slip, Juliana backtracked. “I mean- on some magazine covers.”

Valentina shook her head vehemently, biting the inside of her cheek. “That wasn’t what you thought it was.”

“No?”

“No.” Valentina affirmed, steady and assured. “Eva wanted me to…smooth things over during some negotiation with Serena’s family’s company and-” She breathed, dropping her gaze, shaking her head subtly. “It wasn’t what you thought it was, okay? I couldn’t- I just couldn’t.”

Juliana narrowed her eyes, eyebrows scrunched in contemplation. The hurt in Valentina’s eyes was so clear, but it was more than that. It was reservation, it was resignation. There was something Valentina had managed not to reveal despite everything she had been willing to share. Juliana could just feel it. But she didn’t know how to get to the bottom of the truth.

“So, suddenly Eva was okay with you liking women?” Juliana couldn’t help but sneer.

Valentina heckled, wetting her lips. “I think it’s clear that my sister is okay with anything that would benefit her and the company.”

“I clearly didn’t fit the bill. Some poor girl from Texas, all scrappy and struggling.”

“You know that never meant anything to me.” Valentina fixed her gaze at Juliana, piercing and knowing. “You know that, Juliana. You know I saw you just for you and for all the things you could become. All the things you are now.”

Juliana pushed down the lump in her throat, clenching and unclenching her jaw. She didn’t want the tears to fall. She didn’t want to be this vulnerable, yet again. But she had bottled up everything. She had kept everything to herself with no outlet to process her abandoned emotions. And it was now catching up to her, right in front of the person who had evoked these emotions to begin with.

“I- I really don’t understand, Valentina.”

“Don’t understand what?”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because it doesn’t matter anymore! What I did- I did what was best, okay?” Valentina snapped, frustrated.

“Best for whom?” Juliana hissed irately, standing her ground. She hadn’t been this emotional for years. She had never let herself dwell too deep into her emotions since Valentina had walked away from her. She had never allowed herself that release because she knew, she knew that all she would find was heartache and anger. Why couldn’t see be enough for her?

“Juliana…” Valentina breathed shakily, desperate and lost. Propping her elbows against her thighs, Valentina burrowed her face in her hands.

Juliana slouched her shoulders, overcome and tired. Trashing her body back, her eyes continued to flit over every detail of Valentina’s bearing, waiting and hoping. She exhaled heavily, crossing her arms over her chest once more, restraining herself back from reaching out to the girl who had owned her heart before anyone else ever cared to even acknowledge it.

She sighed dejectedly, changing her mind. “You know what, you’re right. It doesn’t-”

“I tried explaining to you. I had written that letter over and over again and no words seemed to be enough…” Valentina ruefully said, pushing her hair back as she straightened up her posture.

“Letter?”

Valentina blinked slowly, scrunching her eyebrows. “The letter I left for you.”

Juliana couldn’t hide her confusion as she moved forward in her seat, gripping the edge of the couch with both hands, needing the support because all this had made her queasy. “What letter, Valentina?”

Valentina didn’t get the chance to answer as Rafaela rushed back, all wide smile and exuberant countenance. “I’m sorry, girls. That took longer than I expected. Let’s discuss the project now.”

Valentina offered a weak smile to her brother’s godmother, nodding her head in acquiescence, completely turning on her usual persona. All composed and elegant. But Juliana couldn’t say anything, she couldn’t even move a muscle as her gaze bore into Valentina, so many questions swarming her mind. She hoped that she could just turn back time. Another 5 minutes then she would have her answer. Or maybe she had never meant to have it.

“Juli?” She slightly jumped in her seat as she felt the warm pad on her shoulder. She turned her head, looking up to Rafaela who was standing right beside her. “Everything okay?”

Juliana nodded her head a bit too enthusiastically, giving a tight lipped smile to her mentor. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” She subtly flitted her gaze back to the woman sitting across from her, catching those blue eyes, clear and vulnerable, almost pleading, and letting her know everything she needed to know then. And it dawned on her that perhaps, the universe wasn’t on their side.

Perhaps it had never been all along.

\-----

Turning her keys, she quickly opened the white wooden door of her penthouse apartment. She immediately shed her coat off, making her way towards the mudroom on the right of the entrance. She easily hung her coat, finally noticing the rumbling sound coming from the kitchen area. Realizing that her fiancée was actually home, her heart started to beat erratically. She thought she would have more time to formulate what she wanted, no, needed to say.

If she went with what she wanted, she wouldn’t be in this position. But Taylor deserved to know. Taylor, her incredibly sweet and kind fiancée whom truly had become the most important person in her life and yet, the one person she hadn’t been fully herself with. It was all so wrong. She had been so wrong. And she needed to change that.

Her legs carried her towards the kitchen, passing the wall separating the foyer and the kitchen area. She found Taylor standing by the counter by the window, preparing some protein shake like she always did after a workout session. Juliana stopped in her track, tilting her head, admiring the girl in silent. Taylor was slightly bouncing on her feet, matching the beat of the song blaring from her phone by the blender.

It was a sight that truly reverberated the sense of coming home within her. Home, the arms that conveyed warmth and safety, those vivid green eyes that saw her with nothing but adoration and love, the smile that took up an entire face of beauty reserved only for her. Home, something that she had first found with and in Valentina…she really should stop thinking about her.

A gasp struck her out of her reverie and she quickly graced her lips with apologetic smile.

“Juli! You scared me! Don’t sneak on me like that.” Taylor reprimanded weakly, clutching on her chest. She quickly turned off the blender and then her phone. She flipped her body around, arching her eyebrows, calling, inviting.

“I’m sorry, my love.” Juliana uttered in veneration, making her way to stand in front of Taylor. “I thought you weren’t home yet.”

“I didn’t think you’d be home this early either.” Taylor said, leaning back against the counter, moving her arms to circle around Juliana’s shoulder.

Juliana hummed, hands resting on her fiancée’s waist effortlessly. She pushed her body closer against the taller woman, dark eyes piercing through green. She tightened her grip around Taylor’s waist, widening her smile, eyes shining with adoration. “You’re cute when you’re dancing.”

“Stop…” Taylor slapped her shoulder playfully and then hid her face behind her hands. She giggled gleefully, shaking her head in embarrassment. “You’re so biased.” She said, resting her hands back on Juliana’s shoulders.

Juliana grinned at how cute Taylor looked, how bright and pure she was. And just like that, it was easy for her to do the right thing. It was as easy as the air she breathed in. “You are so incredible.” She whispered reverently, tucking a strand of hair behind Taylor’s ear. “I’m so lucky you’re with me.”

Taylor looked at her questioningly, smiling shyly. “What’s gotten into you?”

Juliana softly shook her head, caressing tanned cheek with her thumb. “Sometimes I feel like I- like I don’t say or show it enough. The little things you do, everything that you are. Things like the little dance you just did when you thought no one was looking, I love everything about you.”

“Juli…” Taylor gasped, lost for words, eyes glistening with happy tears. “You’re so ridiculous sometimes.” She deflected, cradling Juliana’s face with both of her hands. Her eyes fluttered close as she inched closer, closing the gap between them. She kissed her slow, pressing her lips against Juliana’s gently as if she was scared that anything more than that would burst their happy bubble.

Juliana smiled into the kiss, leaning her forehead against Taylor’s. She exhaled quietly, keeping her eyes closed, taking in every single detail of the moment. She opened her eyes as she felt Taylor pull back just a fraction.

“You wouldn’t guess who I bumped into earlier!” Taylor exclaimed in so much joy, grinning.

“Who?”

“Valentina! At Kobrick!”

“You did?” Juliana gulped, reality dawning back on her. She licked her lips, fixing her gaze firmly at Taylor, refusing to change her mind. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Taylor had just given her the perfect opening. “That’s funny because I also met her this afternoon.”

Taylor’s eyes brightened, curious and expectant. “Yeah? How did that happen?”

“At Rafaela’s actually. She brought us in together for a- well, a project.” Juliana started, pulling back to lean against the island counter behind her, propping both hands on the edge of the counter. She dropped her gaze, biting her bottom lip.

“What project?” Taylor asked, excited and interested, missing the turmoil running through Juliana’s veins.

“This interview for a feature profile on this special edition magazine Rafaela is planning to publish for the 25th anniversary.”

“Babe! That is so great!” Taylor jumped in glee, clasping her hands. “So, Valentina is doing the interview, right?”

Juliana nodded hesitantly, swallowing down her reluctance. “Yeah, she is.”

Taylor squealed, clapping her hands. She closed the gap between them once more, holding onto Juliana’s upper arms. “It’s gonna be so great, babe. Valentina’s writing is so in-depth and profound. She could easily write something about…a cup of coffee and make it sound like such classic and investigative literature.”

“Yeah…” Juliana sighed, smiling halfheartedly, finally locking her eyes with green orbs. She waited until Taylor realized that something was amiss and it didn’t take her fiancée more than a second to notice.

“What’s wrong? You don’t seem too excited.” Taylor implored thoughtfully, gliding her hands along Juliana’s arms.  She took Juliana’s hands in her, intertwining their fingers. She waited patiently, smiling encouragingly, tightening her grip in reassurance.

Juliana huffed, tilting her head, gazing at the vibrant green eyes that had always looked at her with such care, filling her once hollowed heart to the brim. She needed to do this. She wanted to. And so she finally said, “I need to tell you something about Valentina.”

\-----

[I think we still have some time left,  **VOTE VOTE VOTE**!](https://www.tvynovelas.com/mx/premios/)

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